Thursday, May 12, 2011

settling in


These days have alternated between extremely trying moments and oh-so-lovely moments. I've been working on finding and settling us into a new routine, now that I am mostly on my own with my two little ones. I feel apprehensive about typing it here, but the past few days have been becoming calmer and more lovely than trying. (Knock on wood!) I feel hopeful and happy.

Last week was so trying, and I was beginning to lose my confidence and beginning to believe that I would have to survive, rather than thrive, as a parent. And then, somehow, (DUH!) I realised that once again, we had gotten into the T.V. watching rut. An active four year old, and a nursing new baby, and constant rainy cold days were really doing it to me! Like clockwork, Adelaide once again changed from a sweet girl to a miserable one, but it still took me many days to realise that the TV was sucking the sweets out of my little girl. So, I've pulled the plug once more, and almost instantly she is back: more co-operative, happy, able to play on her own and create her own projects. And sleeping much better. Wow, it is always amazing to me the difference between my girl on television and not. It's actually quite shocking.

So, I pulled the plug on Sunday, no TV at all, and by today, Thursday, life is pretty good again. (Although, a couple of times, Addie and I have watched a cooking show together. Cooking shows seem to only really inspire both Adelaide and I to get crafty in the kitchen, which is a good thing!)

And, my little Reid... sometimes I feel like I barely know this little guy! He is very serious and mellow and very sweet and very gassy! I've really had to watch for him, moniter his latch, watch my diet, burp him constantly, massage him, listen to him grunt and groan for hours. Adelaide was never gassy at all, so this is all new to me. I am a little concerned about his digestion, and am hoping that it will settle down with some time. Poor little man.

But today, I am hopeful, and I am happy.

32 comments:

B. Streetman said...

I only let my son watch videos, never TV with commercials and only on Fridays for movie night. I find if you have an allotted day and an allotted amount of time, then you can use it as a family time opportunity without it become an addiction. i can't stress this enough though. When my son was two and a half, i got him hooked on audio books, and at six, he's listened to everything from all the narnias and the harry potters and tons of other things, and he sits in his room for hours coloring or doing legos or looking at books and listening and rarely comes out. audio books are a blessing and a far better babysitter than the TV when you need a few hours to get things done. if you can get your child listening to them early enough, they become part of the family.

lulu's missives said...

This is such a lovely photo. :-)

Sweet Tater said...

You have such sweet, adorable children. :) I always enjoy the pictures of them that you post.

My daughter maybe had gas two or three times that I can remember as a baby. But when my twin boys were born, it was TERRIBLE!!! About the only thing that helped were the gas drops that seemed to help a LITTLE. Nothing "fixed" it. And even now, as toddlers, they have MUCH more sensitive stomachs than their sister. The least little thing can upset them, whereas nothing seems to bother her. shrug. I suppose different people are just born with different digestive systems. I do hope it gets better for him, though. It's so hard when you know their little tummy hurts, and you can't make it stop.

Shannon said...

Sharilyn, both of your children are SO beautiful! What an adjustment two is -- my younger son is almost one and a half and some days I STILL feel like I haven't caught up with it all. But it is wonderful to see them grow and play together.

You might look into probiotics for Reid's gassiness. My older son was rarely gassy and did not spit up as much as my younger son; I strongly believe it has something to do with how long labor was with each of them (younger was out in three pushes). There has been some research that babies pick up bacteria on their way down the birth canal, and that that bacteria helps form the basis for their intestinal "colony" that helps them digest. Babies born by c-section (and presumably, in faster births), don't get a chance to pick up this bacteria so it takes them longer to build up these good bacteria. We used a probiotic specifically made for infants (by Jarrodophilus) -- just a little bit on the nipple while he was nursing -- and it really did seem to make a difference within a week or two.

Best of luck to you, and enjoy those lovely children :)
xoxo

Tracey said...

Oh Sharilyn I can relate!! My five week old daughter farts like a 45 year old man. It is such a helpless feeling to see them red faced and in pain. Unfortunately I don't have any advice but you have my sympathy!

Jo @ a life in lists said...

I know exactly what you mean about the TV! My toddler's behaviour/temper/attitude is so much worse when he has any TV. Since I've been looking after him and his little brother (a bit older than Reid I think, at 6 weeks), we've only had the TV on during his waking hours once, and I can honestly say his behaviour is a million percent better than it was towards the end of my pregnancy when we had it on a lot more.

We currently read a LOT of books, with a lot of silly voices. That and pretend tea parties get us through the days when it's hard to leave the house. Also I feed in public A LOT, so we're not often stuck at home. It definitely helps!

Zoe said...

Hi Sharilyn, I've not posted before but have been reading for a while. Your children are gorgeous! Thank-you for sharing your wonderful thoughts. I had my second child in September and it took a while to sort things out but it all came good in the end. I'm glad you are heading in the right direction too!

Zoe, UK x

EveryChapter said...

Well he is gorgeous, so glad you are settling in. And fun to see a new post.

silentai. said...

They are both so gorgeous!! <3





silentloveyou.blogspot.com

Gretchen said...

Hi Sharilyn: I'm at home with a 3.5-year-old daughter and an almost 11-month old son, so your post really resonates with me. I remember finding our new routine(nursing the youngest while trying to entertain the oldest) took a while. I also resorted to that awful babysitter, the TV, in the beginning, but always regretted it afterward. Any quiet moments were quickly followed by crabbiness and begging for more TV: not a great combo and ultimately not worth it. My daughter now plays happily and independently: her favorites are lacing cards (she calls that "knitting"), lacing wooden beads, a tub of various plastic animals, and cooking wonderful meals in her play kitchen. I would also add that a loose schedule (playgroup on Monday, music class on Tuesday, etc.) provides much needed out-of-the-house time for all of us. I'm sure your craftiness and creativity will provide a terrific framework for your little ones. Thank you for sharing your ongoing challenges and blessings of raising a family: it helps to know that we are not alone!

Best,
Gretchen

Megan said...

Wow! We are having similar issues with the TV. P has sensory issues and if she gets more than an hour or two max, she gets overstimulated and wired for two days straight. She can't hear me and runs in circles and is hyper. I never realized it could have such a strong effect on the little ones. Now, we keep it off most of the time.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sharilyn,

Glad to hear all is going well. Starting to find your groove again always feels great!! You really start to feel like "I can do this" (at least I did). I'm sure the gassiness is nothing to worry about. My pediatrician told me with my first, who was gassy, that it takes until about 3 months old until their little digestive systems are complete and running smoothly. Best of luck!!

blair/wise craft said...

That photo makes me smile.

Ian was an extremely gassy baby, up until about 3 months. I did everything you are doing, plus we tried to keep him slightly propped up for a bit after a feeding. We used to say you aren't close enough to baby Ian if you haven't been spit up on, because he spit up constantly! : D

April said...

Your children are so beautiful, and these photos so precious.

I'm glad things are looking up for you!

Mommy J said...

You'll find your groove, I'm sure of that. You have a whole new person in your family, and a completely dependent one at that. Make sure you cut yourself some slack, these things do take time. But I have to say....Reid is gorgeous, and of course Addie is too! Congrats to you and yours!

becca said...

beautiful children! glad to hear you are coping so well. i was wondering how you all were. my baby was born in december-now almost 5 mths old! and my daughter is 4. It took me quite a while to adjust to the new normal-it felt like a much bigger transition than from no kids to 1 baby..having mild baby blues didn't help..and baby m wanted to be carried constantly for the first 3 mths, which although lovely was exhausting! m had some gassy issues too..lieing her over my knees (tummy down) and rubbing her back seemed to help some..and lots of being carried upright.
i hope your days are happy. i try to not expect every day to be perfect as then my expectations are sure to be blown..some days are great..some are very hard work! we can but try our best! it sounds like you are doing so well.
enjoy the days! (second babies seem to grow so very fast!)

Dawn said...

i don't know why, but you've been my role model over the years as far as parenting goes and this was before i even had Sofia or wanted children. i really admire you and your relationship with Addie and I only hope I can raise Sofia just as well. Thanks so much for sharing your stories and adventures. I look forward to seeing the bond between the three of you grow :) Hugs and all the best to you!

Victoria said...

It's a wicked beast isn't it, that television. Honestly, they do become almost addicted to it. I like to watch tv some evenings so can't so no completely but there are definitely rules around it - it's not just an "i can't be bothered thinking what to do" activity. It's hard with a new babe though, you're so tired, it's difficult to manage your lagging energy levels and do all you have to do. I hope you can find something else quiet to give you a break in there too.

Anonymous said...

every little baby boy I know (and I know alot) has been very gassy! :D Too funny!

Robin + Judith said...

You're managing it veryy gracefully. What a beautiful family!

dahlhaus said...

Hi Sharilyn, It's great to see your little ones again! Both my boys were extremely gassy and grunty when they were babies- sometimes it takes time for their systems to catch up. Lots of burping helped- I couldn't just let them fall asleep while nursing because they'd wake up 20 min later with a huge burp and then it was back to square 1. For my boys they both grew out of it- one at about 3 mos, the other took until 6 mos. They are much older now (6&8) and are still really gassy- nothing to do with food (I've asked the doctor about this), apparently it's just boys.

Rhonda said...

Lovely Children! Lovely YOU!

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I'm new to your Blog and loving it, your kids are very cute!!! I have 4 kids and my last one is extremely gassy and grunted all the time, i put him on a probiotic and it was amazing how it helped him.

My House, My Garden said...

Ugh, I am about to pull the plug myself. My daughter will be 5 in July and I am also guilty of using the electronic babysitter more than I should lately. She becomes so demanding and irritable when she watches too much TV. She begs for more and gets very angry when I set any boundaries. How did you pull the plug? I have thought about really unplugging it and saying that it's broke but I am not sure that's the right thing to do. I just do not want to hear the constant begging that I know I will endure! Did you tell your daughter no more TV or trick her? :)

Charis said...

Reid looks absolutely beautiful x

Claire M. said...

They are so cute ;)

Jess said...

Boy oh boy are we living the same life. Well, you know what I mean.

I have a 3 year old girl and a two month old daughter and life has been soooo hectic trying to juggle and figure out becoming a momma of two.

we are in a tv rut as well. I keep planning on other things happening and then they fall through. sigh. we will get this down. I have to keep reminding myself it's only been 11 weeks.

Poorva said...

I just read a lot of your blog posts and i'm overwhelmed and i have to say, it's the most adorable thing ever! :)

xx

rebecca said...

The 'gas' issue....it's a boy(guy) thing!

Paula LĂșcio said...

That's the cutest photo I've seen today, made my day full with sun. Congrats for the great blog and the sweet kids :)

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So cute.