Wednesday, October 29, 2008

dejected address file needs good home

address file for someone by you.

Don't you just love giveaways? I swear, to me having something to giveaway is so much better than actually winning a giveaway! (Although, that would be ok, too) I really wish that I had enough of my products right now to have giveaways all the time. Unfortunately, my current career (mama) doesn't allow me much time to make my things these days, but...

This past weekend my father delivered to me a box of his "rejected" address files. Some of them I couldn't even tell what was wrong with them, until he pointed out the imperfections. Most are unfinished wood, but I will be trying to fix them up and give them away here over the next many weeks.

I have here an address file (as photographed above) that I do not wish to sell, as it is imperfect. It has a slight chip on part of the bottom, and parts of it's finish are uneven and slightly scratched. Overall, these blemishes are only noticeable when one picks this address file up and examines it. But it is still in good overall shape and I hope that it will find a happy home out there with one one of my wonderful customers or readers or friends. 

Please leave a comment if you would like to give this sad little address file a home - I will randomly draw a winner next week or so. 

And, thanks for reading, everyone!

torn

This past weekend I visited my storage space and brought home with me hundreds and hundreds of papers - I had forgotten just how many treasures I have stowed away! So this week I've been sorting, cutting, and organizing these large stacks of papers. They will become many many journey books soon, so if you have been waiting for one please let me know if you would like for me to make one just for you!

stacks by you.

I had forgotten how satisfying it is to me to sort and cut and stack these hundreds of pages. When I do get these few moments to myself in my workroom to simply do what I had done for years without even a second thought, it brings me such pleasure. I wake up each morning and know exactly what I want to be doing - to be in my workroom sorting and making.

Unfortunately, Adelaide does not approve of my desire to be doing anything but simply be with her. We've been struggling this week because of this - I feel the urge so strongly to create, but she just wants me to be all hers. 

These two forces are the strongest of my life: the longing to create and the urge to be a mother to my daughter. Being a mama and being creative mix incredibly well, and I am able to dream up all sorts of projects for Addie and I to do together. But lately too I've been feeling the urge to make my own things, so strongly I could just cry in frustration. There is, literally, just not enough hours in the day for them all. 

I feel so torn between the two things that I love and need the most in this world.

hanging out  by you.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

pigtails + triangles

I've been waiting so long for these!!!

triangles by you.

And, inspired by the autumn colours outside our window, I have stitched these triangles up and laid them all out on our wall using a bit of scotch tape. They are now ready to be sewn all together with a muslin border all in between. I miss having a blanket around to hand-quilt - it's been a while - and now that the days are chilly and the nights are growing so dark I have found myself craving the satisfying activity of hand-quilting something cozy.

My tree quilt will be a long time coming before it is ready to be hand-quilted, although this is intentional. (It is meant to be a slow project.) I was suprised how quick these triangles are compared to making all those little trees! And I appologise to all of you who have sent me sweet notes regarding the making of trees with me, for I have still to get together my scraps and instructions to send to all of you. Another thing in the back of my head each day to do... they are coming I promise!

It is my way to have dozens of projects all happening simultaneously - but recently I've been feeling a need to write lists as I feel like I haven't been keeping track of all my things very well lately. I really need to find some time to tidy up my workspace, and get organised both inside and out.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

apple tree


Yesterday was another perfect fall day and so Adelaide and I went out to explore mountain together. We headed over to an area which we haven't really gone to before, and we were rewarded by discovering an apple tree growing wild, tucked away within a hillside. 

wild apple tree by you.a picnic by you.

I have no idea what variety of apples these are, and they aren't quite ripe yet, but Addie didn't mind. I picked some for us and after an impromptu picnic she loaded up her arms with as many as she could (three) for the journey back home. And we will return in a week or so to see if our wild little tree's apples are ready for us yet.

apples for home by you.

Someone here once told me that we are two climate zones above the rest of the Vancouver area. I am not sure if this is a fact, but it sure feels like it. My dogwood tree bloomed much later than it was supposed to and the ones off the mountain, and we get a lot of snow, too. It's amazing to me that even a slight change in climate and my body picks this up as though my soul has a built in barometer or something.

When I lived in Los Angeles all of that sunshine was fantastic, but my whole being felt right off, seasonally speaking. When I lived just outside of Gothenburg it felt almost right to me, climate-wise, but the marvelous Swedish light could never become regular to me. And now up here on the mountain things are almost right too, but I can still feel the teeniest of a shift, for when I sniff the clear cool mountain air it is a chillier then what I am accustomed too, even after a year. (Oh, I have just realised that we have lived here on this mountain a year tomorrow!)

I don't know if what I just wrote will make any sense at all. I hope that someone out there has a built in barometer too and knows exactly what I ramble about. Perhaps there is a clearer desciption of these sorts of things out there somewhere.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

know that all is still safe and well

We haven't been feeling too good lately. I pulled a nerve in my back last week, and I have been feeling pretty run right down anyways. There are a lot of sick kids around the neighbourhood, and I tend to get a little bit sick when seasons change.

And I am so tired: several times this past week Addie's woken in the middle of the night completely hysterical, crying, unconsolable. She will wake suddenly screaming, jump right out of bed, and walk all about the house sobbing for a couple of hours. While we follow her trying to give her what she needs and make everything better. This is so unlike her, it is perplexing, frightening, and infuriating all at once.

Today for the first time in a very long time (if ever?) I pulled out my dusty old baby books and gave them some attention. The Continuum ConceptThe Baby Book, The Natural Child, The No-Cry Sleep Solution. I skimmed a few pages but mostly I just lay with my daughter and thought about her and I. And I realised that developmentally Adelaide is headed to a new level, but perhaps she still needs lots of love and physical contact now that more and more she is beginning to find her own place in the world. With my hurt back I haven't been holding her as much or wearing her at all. During the day she is so tough and fiesty - but maybe she needs me just as much? Perhaps it is in the dark of night when she needs to know that all is still safe and well.

And we get so busy playing and running about that I think she needs to eat more than she has been. And, In my attempts to conform to the norm and get her to bed earlier, I have been skipping out her bedtime snack. Tonight there was lots of frozen blueberries before bed!

I hope so so much that they help her sleep her own sweet dreams again.

note: it is now after 3 o'clock in the morning and we seem to be back in our old routine: Adelaide is snoring away peacefully in bed, but I am awake and can't seem to fall asleep at all. So far, so good, at least for her!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

making circles

Every morning we wake up together and the first thing we do is open the blinds and peep out and see what kind of day it is outside. Lately these first peeks have been filled with sunshine and I instantly know what kind of day we will have. I keep hoping that these days will last, and am grateful for every one of them. Because I grew up in the Pacific Northwest and I know well how the rains and the grey will come again soon...
flower picking by you.
I get a little stir crazy, though, when wandering around the neighbourhood Adelaide. She moves at an incredibly slow pace, every which way except the direction we're headed. This leaves me poking about the sides of trails trying to keep myself entertained, so I try to think of little projects I can bring along with us, to keep me busy too.
Lately I've been bringing a big bucket of chalk around with us and drawing a lot of circles all over. I find this a very satisfying activity to me for some reason(?). Every so often Addie helps me, she likes to scribble inside of a few of them. And sometimes I get her to hop hop hop all around in them, too. She also likes to stand right in the middle while I am draw a circle all around her feet. However, mostly Addie just does her own wandering about while I make my circles. It's good to have projects, no matter how insignificant. 
making circles by you.
in the circles by you.
And, I love some of the conversations I overhear, inspired by my circles... Does a perfect circle exist? The absolution of a circle in relation to its size! The newtonian properties of bubbles! The methodology of the compass! I adore living amongst these unconventional academic neighbours of mine.
in the wagon by you.
I am very pleased that a small farmer's market has begun here each wednesday afternoon, full of beautiful organic local fruits and vegetables, breads, preserves, and other treats. We've been heading there each week and picking up some lovelies for us. Today in our wagon: a bag of freshly baked oat berry muffins, fresh collard greens, cucumbers, onions, and a little yellow watermelon which we've been eating all afternoon, yum!

In our wagon with us today I also brought my camera, as I am hoping to capture my girl in the last of these beautiful autumn days. But already Adelaide is so over my photography and has little to no tolerance for me trying to take pictures of her. For all the dozens of shots that I take, the vast majority of them are variations of her moaning, such as these:

mama no more!!! by you.

I suppose these photos capture our time together too. Although I much prefer the other shots - the ones that capture our sweetest moments - such as this one: my baby girl sleeping soundly down in my lap, taken today upon our return home.

sleep by you.