Thursday, October 09, 2008

know that all is still safe and well

We haven't been feeling too good lately. I pulled a nerve in my back last week, and I have been feeling pretty run right down anyways. There are a lot of sick kids around the neighbourhood, and I tend to get a little bit sick when seasons change.

And I am so tired: several times this past week Addie's woken in the middle of the night completely hysterical, crying, unconsolable. She will wake suddenly screaming, jump right out of bed, and walk all about the house sobbing for a couple of hours. While we follow her trying to give her what she needs and make everything better. This is so unlike her, it is perplexing, frightening, and infuriating all at once.

Today for the first time in a very long time (if ever?) I pulled out my dusty old baby books and gave them some attention. The Continuum ConceptThe Baby Book, The Natural Child, The No-Cry Sleep Solution. I skimmed a few pages but mostly I just lay with my daughter and thought about her and I. And I realised that developmentally Adelaide is headed to a new level, but perhaps she still needs lots of love and physical contact now that more and more she is beginning to find her own place in the world. With my hurt back I haven't been holding her as much or wearing her at all. During the day she is so tough and fiesty - but maybe she needs me just as much? Perhaps it is in the dark of night when she needs to know that all is still safe and well.

And we get so busy playing and running about that I think she needs to eat more than she has been. And, In my attempts to conform to the norm and get her to bed earlier, I have been skipping out her bedtime snack. Tonight there was lots of frozen blueberries before bed!

I hope so so much that they help her sleep her own sweet dreams again.

note: it is now after 3 o'clock in the morning and we seem to be back in our old routine: Adelaide is snoring away peacefully in bed, but I am awake and can't seem to fall asleep at all. So far, so good, at least for her!

15 comments:

Alissa Nicolau said...

I have found it so interesting with my own son and his growth & development patterns how these growing fazes come and go. And, it seems to me anyway, that at the point during the new faze where I think I might not be able to cope with the situation much longer.... it somehow, quite magicly, has disappeared. I hope your lovlies sleep pattern has worked itself out!

melissa said...

i hope she feels better...adelaide is still so pretty though...despite being sick and all!
i am only 23, but reading your blog makes me excited for motherhood. i have never "met" anyone so devoted and in love with their child. you are so inspiring. i have always dreamt of having children and making things with them.

joanna said...

oooh, i hope you're both feeling better. this is the sweetest photo ever. xo

TrippleJN said...

I think you are smart to be evaluating all that has changed since you hurt your back. Kids deal with stress in lots of different ways, don't they? Our daughter went through such grumpy streaks whenever she was in a developmental spurt, also. Learning to sit up, trying to learn how to put things together, even learning new things in bursts at school, now.

I applaud you for your patience, especially during your back pain and your daughter's illness. I've just seem to come out of a really bad month myself and it was tiring.

Jenny

ella said...

you are such a good and intuitive mama. the books are there, you know, for back up but you sound confident in knowing that all is normal. sleep and food and love!! Arlo is breaking his own huge milestones and still needs to come back to the nest of mama's arms often enough. it can be such a relief in ways when they first become more independent... that we almost push and encourage more of it faster than they are ready for. that nest is so important for them to return to (often).
and your back! ouch. sounds like you need some extra hands, and some massage, chiro, acupuncture appointments. i hope you get some relief. xoxo

unha said...

mm.. yeah.. mine was cold and ear infection on both kids.. and jinu is sick again. *sigh*

jinu at one point also woke up, hysterically crying.. which scared us (as well as frustrated and tired)
sounds like many kids go through that phase. after a few nights, that stopped.

hope you guys feel better. everyone is getting sick :(

Jennifer said...

Sometimes it helps to know that there are a lot of people going through the same thing. My older daughter had "night terrors" from about 9 months until she was almost 2 years old. Sudden ear-splitting, hysterical screeching, about twice a night. She did not just wake up and cry, it was like she was screaming while still asleep or only half-awake. I felt like a zombie for months, and it almost did me in. I was also pregnant with my second at the time. Even sleeping next to Emily and having a lot of cuddling did not make it stop. It was something she had to grow out of. Now, with the kids 2 and 3 years old, they wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, and it is more like run-of-the-mill sleep deprivation. But I know how bad chronic night waking can be, so take good care of yourself, and I hope that the sleep problems are short-lived for little Adelaide.

Sara said...

Hi there, I just discovered your blog and spent the best part of my (work)day reading through all your entries! I just had to say how much I am enjoying it and can't wait to hear more about you and your beautiful family and your amazing adventures together. Thanks so much for sharing. I hope to have a little girl as adorable as yours one day too.

Rachel said...

I agree about the night terrors. My son had them too. He would seem to wake up screaming, but wouldn't make eye contact, wouldn't look at us, seemed not to really know we were there, would arch his back and fight when we held him, and he would squirm and writhe. It all lasted 20minutes and then he would settle down and suddenly seem asleep again. Our research & experience lead us to understand that they were caused by being over tired before he went to sleep (like if he'd skipped his nap that day). The other important thing we learned is to not try to do too much with him while he was in the midst of it becuase kids in this state can become easily frightened. We would just make sure he was safe, that he knew we were there and talked calmly to him. It would pass and and he would be fine. The research we read also said that older kids who have these night terrors report having no memory of them the next day, which was a comfort to us. My son stopped having them before he could talk and knowing he didn't remember what had happened made it all much easier to get through.

I hope this helps. And I hope you are all feeling well and rested soon. =0)

Rainjar said...

Have you tried Bach's flower essences? They're all-natural and safe for children and even pets. I've been using them for panic attacks, though they're said to be good for all kinds of stress. I hope it sorts itself out - it must be quite unnerving for all of you.

TrippleJN said...

I completely relate and agree with what Rachel posted. This story sounds so familiar, and I agree about being tired before going to sleep. Our daughter would always have the worst night's sleep after a really big day, but I had sort of forgotten about it!

I can also say this about night terrors: my in-laws have two permanent foster children and the youngest one had terrible problems with night terrors. Very long, intense and tiring ones. Finally, they realized that she needed to have her sister or my mother-in- law sleeping with her in the same bed. This isn't a solution that will work for everyone! But the extra comfort of a person next to her really helped everyone sleep better. She is 8 now and is a shy personality who still needs a lot of parental closeness (completely different from her sister) but her sleeping is much more predictable.

My daughter is 6 and my husband and I still both lay down with her every night before bed (if my husband isn't at work) and it's our routine. We lay with the lights off and either talk about the day, or try to encourage a restful feeling by holding hands, snuggling close, etc. I know there will be a day when she may ask us to stop, so I try to soak it up and enjoy it every night.

sharilyn said...

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your kind words and wishes... every single one of them i cherish.

Rainjar: i swear by Bach flower essences!!! They are a must for me as I have suffered with severe anxiety and panic in the past. I think I have about 20 of them in my house and i love every one of them!!!

tripplejn: i guess I neglected to mention that I actually co-sleep with my daughter.. i realise it is not for everyone, but i love it and wouldnt have it any other way!

xox to you all.

Wendy said...

I found you when Craftzine posted about your fantastic closet sewing area.

I remember night terrors, vaguely (our youngest is almost 10). From what I can recall, they were worse when the kids were over-tired. One thing I've since found that helps with the over-tired thing is an Ayurvedic herb called Ashwaganda. They have it at most health food stores. I have seen it stop a hysterically crying kid in her tracks. Well, the screaming, not the kid. My kids can all swallow the pills, but my sister's little guy takes is mixed up with honey.

Just a thought. And good luck; eventually it stops.

Laura. said...

chamomile, rosemary and lavender are a great combination for fussy kids. i hope this phase ends soon--for all of your sakes!

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