I met Charles and we became fast friends. I remember thinking to myself "I want to hang out with him more". I had no idea that years later here we'd be... together a little family.
One evening after we had officially been a couple a few weeks or so, we were having dinner and he said to me that if I ever got pregnant, then we were going to have a baby, together. I remember being a little taken aback at this as I had never had a boyfriend who talked like that before. All my previous boyfriends would take off running at the mere mention of ever having children. It was really sweet to finally hear that someone saw that with me.
Several years passed and whenever we passed a little family on the street we'd both be like "oh! I want a baby!" I had always loosely thought that I would want to be a mom someday, but when it came down to it I wasn't sure. I thought a good year about it, back and fourth, back and fourth. I couldn't decide for sure if that was what I truly wanted.
And then a tragedy occurred to a beautiful friend a half a world away... my most favourite girlfriend lost her little newborn baby. And I woke up one morning and knew completely that I wanted to take that chance. And If i was ever so lucky to be blessed with a child it was never something to be taken forgranted - for it is the most special thing that could ever happen. And I knew then that I did want to be a mama one day.
We tried once. Once! and I knew. and I was absolutely terrified. Scared shitless. I was so incredibly, terribly sick for month after month after month. It was horrible. And then, 56 hours of hard back labour. I was at home but finally I chose to go to the hospital. Our baby wasn't getting enough oxygen, our baby's heartbeat kept faltering. When they finally told me that they had to cut her out of me I just sobbed.
Oh, but that feels like forever ago now. And oh my, was it all ever worth it. But the point of this post is not about these things. But what I meant to say is how very pleased I am by the type of father my Charlie has become. There are many of the sweet types of things in this world, but to me one of them has got to be witnessing a man who truly loves his child and takes pride in being a great father. I am fortunate enough in this life of mine to have learned from past mistakes and am now with a man who is great to me and even greater to our little daughter.
Neither of us have ever been too interested in marriage in the big wedding sense. I've never been one of those girls who wanted a wedding - Actually I couldn't think of anything more embarrassing! I guess it's just not my thing. So we never have. I'm not sure if we ever will - its just not important to us.
But we are together, the three of us, our little family. And oh, our love together: It is Grand!