Sunday, November 25, 2007

one more beautiful soul

Over the weekend I went to clear out the remaining things at my studio. For the longest while my head had been filled with cozy memories of my special place, and I was really feeling quite pathetic and melancholy about giving it all up. And dreading that very moment.

But when I stood in the centre of a now rather sad, empty, and disheveled room, I just about laughed right out loud! It hit me almost instantly, and rather bluntly: this empty space is not who I am!

What had made my studio special was what it had once been filled it with: my dreams, wishes, creations, treasures, and, me. And these things I shall take with me wherever this life will take me. Except now, I have one more beautiful soul to share it all with: my little daughter.

The snow has been falling here on the mountaintop all day, the world outside is white and still and cool and crisp and beautiful. My baby girl sleeps upstairs in our big bed, two kitties by her side. And I feel love.

p.s.
Thank you to you all for your wonderful messages: each of your stories means so much to me. They are all helping me to sort this life all out, and I am grateful to you all for this. Love to you all tonight and always, sharilyn.

4 comments:

Kimberly said...

What a lovely post. Really, I am deeply touched by you and your words. The times I regret most as a mom are the times I didn't give my all to my kids, you have decided to give your all. This is part of who you are - your identity.

Really, much love to you and your little one.

Peace and love,
Kim xo

Lori said...

glad you are happy, sweetheart. :^)

xoxoxo

catia said...

Dear Sharilyn,
I'm inspired by how much grace you show. You have two beautiful gifts- the one of love/motherhood and the one of talent/creativity.
And I agree that everything that was lovelydesign will always be within you...you simply decide what to let out and show at different points in your life!

xoxo

Catia

Unha said...

This post made me all choked for a sec. Like your last post, I think a lot of people of our peer go through that loss of self when the precious thing comes along. It's such joyful experience, but oh boy, no one warned about THAT - that being the confusion over being mom, being me, being wife, being.. so many things!! but still sustaining self..

But it passes and you learn to balance everything that is so important to you and soon, you know it was just that growing pain. :)

Tell you the truth, I'm a little scared and have no idea how life will be once #2 comes along. I felt like life got on track, groovying with little family of mine.. With an upcoming addition, I'm excited and I'm a little afraid. But I know I'll find a way.

Important thing is, take everything day by day.. one step at a time.. and focusing on doing the right thing and being happy with your family.. The rest just happens along with your life..

:)

hope everyone is staying warm and cozy in canada!